It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
