There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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