It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
