It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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