belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
