think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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