Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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