I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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