everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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