She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
