Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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