The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
