Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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