Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Come on in and take your pants off
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