Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
