He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
