Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
