I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
