idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
