We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
