First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i've created a new STD.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
