The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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