SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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