...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
