i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
