i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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