I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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