I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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