your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
