I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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