i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
