I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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