I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
