I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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