Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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