that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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