i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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