I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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