and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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