all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
