...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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