hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
