i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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