okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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