at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
