Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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