I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
