Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
