Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
