I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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