Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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